they could be a gator
this is true
source: i’m a gator
they could be a gator
this is true
source: i’m a gator
heart of the cards, Jimbo!
I’m attacking directly with my Sonic Duck! I’m real sorry about this, Jim-Jam, but it looks like you’re on your way to the Shadow Realm!
Let me make myself very clear in my assumption that most of tumblr that’s upset over Zero Suit Samus’s design having heels incorporated into her new Jet Boots hasn’t played much of the Metroid franchise. This post will be coming from the perspective of someone much more educated about the franchise and Samus’s depiction and sexuality, i.e. me.
So, obviously, people are pissed. Samus is wearing heels, and people are mad. The way heels force women to stand accentuates the muscular curves of their legs, thighs, and butt, and plays up their sex appeal. Let me preface my argument by saying that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with girls wearing whatever the fuck they want because they want to look more attractive. If girls want to wear heels because they’ll look sexy, then fucking put them on and I’ll applaud you the whole fucking evening for wearing those things because jesus christ my toes hurt just looking at them. If you want to wear some sneakers because you’re more comfortable and they look nice anyway then that’s also just as fine because good on you for being concerned with yourself.
Now, let me bring up probably the most basic counterargument, which holds quite a bit of water in itself, and should be the real reason why tumblr is mad about this whole thing. The whole “badass girls in high-heels thing” is summed up nicely by the TV Tropes page for Combat Stilettos: (For what it’s worth, please don’t get trapped on TV Tropes for my sake, since the following copypasted excerpt also has a lot of links to other TV Tropes articles.)
In comics this is often Depending on the Artist: artist A will use it in moderation, artist B may use wedge heels, artist C will draw practical shoes, but artist D will insist on drawing high heels on all female characters regardless of reason, situation, or even if it’s the character’s usual style. While this can be part of Most Writers Are Male trend, this tend to appear equal often with Female Writers as well, for various reasons.
There is a fierce debate over the use of this trope, ranging from a realistic point (they are very hard to balance, tiring to walk and can damage the feet and spine by prolonged use in real life), if it’s a sexist tool in a male dominated medium just to make the heroines more appealing, or that they are only another trope in fantasy and comics, no more unrealistic than any other.”
Now, let’s take a step back and assess that this is probably the only real point you can argue about that would make any sense to discuss and be mad about regarding Zero Suit Samus’s Jet Boots.
…Until you take another step back and realize that Samus is an intergalactic warrior with superhuman strength and acrobatic ability who was raised by an alien tribe of ancient bird people who were technologically, magically, and spiritually advanced to a point that transcended human existence, and has also had their DNA integrated into her body. I tried to find well-made .gifs of Samus doing some kick-ass martial arts from her Sensemove techniques in Other M, but the Internet has failed me. Nevertheless, do you really think that someone who can jump and fly around off walls and kick alien baddies so hard they explode will have any problem walking around in heels?
We can have a whole essay about the debate between practicality of character fashion versus artistic liberty versus canon fridge logic, but the fact of the matter is it ends up being really irrelevant internet arguments once you take everything into account, so let’s move on to the more obvious elephant in the room: people getting mad over Samus being sexualized in Smash 4.
The following impending images are screenshots, official artwork, and best endings from the 2004 GBA title, Metroid: Zero Mission. Keep your eyes peeled for the obvious.
Look at her. And you think Samus has only been oversexualized since Other M? Granted, she’s wearing wedges, not heels, something the design team ten years ago was very keen on pointing out:
But she’s still wearing heels, and she’s still got a very clear sexual depiction in these various T&A shots.
There’s even more of this that can be found in other games, dating all the way back to the original Metroid. (I don’t want to absolutely clutter this post with pictures, but Metroid Database, where I pulled these images from, has even more screenshots of endings and concept art from other games. I would definitely recommend poking through the gallery and endings for Metroid Fusion, a 2002 GBA game, for more related goodies.)
So suddenly, Sakurai gives Samus another inch on her heels, and sticks Jet Set Radio style rockets on them, and the internet loses their minds and gets mad and says that Nintendo is defaming Samus’s character and depicting her in a sexual manner? If you beat Metroid games and you’re good at them, you’re rewarded with fanservice for fuck’s sake! What’s more, this predates characters from games like Dead or Alive and Tomb Raider who are often criticized for being overly sexualized in their games by a good ten years (The original Metroid for the NES came out in 1986)!Furthermore, I think we can all agree that Zero Suit Samus is much more tame than Lara Croft and the Dead or Alive girls, the latter of which were designed by the development team for Other M.
Thirdly, and this might be the shortest point I have to make, but also the most important: they’re for game balance, for fuck’s sake. In Brawl, Zero Suit Samus was a B-tier character who was flashy and had a lot of potential due to her innate combo ability and high skill ceiling, but had a really poor recovery and low overall power, usually only getting kills at high percents above 100%. Sakurai is balancing this game to be more fun both casually and competitively, and the best way to give Zero Suit Samus a little bit more oomph in the way of recovery and strength is to give her abilities that replace her abysmal tether recovery from Brawl and also allow her to strike harder and with more power. Sakurai’s attempt at justifying these buffs was to give Zero Suit Samus these Jet Boots, which haven’t existed in any Metroid game ever and are unique to the Smash universe, much like the Paralyzer’s whip was unique to Brawl and never seen in any other Metroid game. These Jet Boots allow her to hover and float, giving her a better third jump style recovery than Brawl’s Up B tether, and allow her to hit with more power in the air and on the ground than she could in Brawl. The Jet Boots are not attached to Zero Suit Samus’s feet- they slide onto her feet just like regular shoes, and also superficially resemble Chell’s Long Fall Boots from the Portal games.
Plus, they fucking look cool. Apparently, tumblr doesn’t want to wear something on their feet that would allow them to rocket around and kick people super hard just because it’s got a two inch wedge sticking out of it.
TL;DR tumblr is over a decade late to the “THEY’RE MAKING SAMUS A SEX SYMBOL” party and the Jet Boots are a practical aesthetic design that ends up justifying a lot of the game balance that went into designing Zero Suit Samus for Smash 4.
lite drop it hard
Heavy feels for the care that Sakurai and his teams have taken to properly represent MegaMan. I was floored and ecstatic that MegaMan is in Smash Bros 4 and seeing his final smash yesterday made my jaw drop once again.
No. 61 - Don’t Imprint Me Much
I was so bummed out by how yesterday’s comic turned out that I wanted to try making another one right away. I feel a little better now!
And now you get to see just how shite of a digital painting it actually is! It was pretty rushed…
Here is the video proof of my previous post about this officer forcing his way into my moms house (without legal documentation) and arresting my brothers friend without explanation. PLEASE REBLOG TO RAISE AWARENESS!!
Strangely enough, I like doing things like cleaning or cooking. It gives me strength to do other things in the day for some reason.
Maybe I should quit everything and become a househusband! (spoilers: I’m not going to quit everything and become a househusband)
I would totally do this if I had the opportunity.
did pins die?
Pins is not dead yet.